| Feature Article – February 2008 |
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How many of us really give more than just a perfunctory recognition to what is said in the part of the Eucharistic Service called ‘The Confession and Absolution’? Do we give ourselves time to let those words sink in to our consciousness, to reflect on the past week about our actions or inaction? Be honest now!
I must admit, as must most of us who officiate, that we do not allow sufficient time for anyone to be able to say, “I do!” to the above questions. The Confession and Absolution are worded in such a way that it can apply to all circumstances in our daily life as we interact with one another. And to be fair, for most of the time it is good enough. But, what about the times when it is not enough? For example – when forgiveness is not truly accepted by us because we have not had the time to reflect and truly think of our actions. We haven’t really thought about how we have hurt anyone. Especially when the argument/incident we had the other day with . . . (fill in the blank) was not our fault! So what if things were said/done that were hurtful. We were in the right! Right??
In the Book of Alternative Services we have a service called ‘The Reconciliation of a Penitent’ (pp. 166-170, a shortened form is on pp. 171-172). Not everyone needs to use this service but sometimes we need a tool like this.
Just to have someone physically present with us, listening to what we have done, not judging us, or condemning us, can help us to feel that we are truly forgiven. This is not a counselling session, although some may need to consider setting up some form of counselling with their clergy or other professional in the future to help work through some situations.
What about the times when we are sorry and we do confess to God our sins but we still feel guilty, we still carry around the residual effects of our actions or inaction? We have asked God to forgive us, so how come we don’t feel forgiven?
In answer to that, let me ask you one. “Do you need to ask forgiveness from the person you have hurt? Are you ready to face the consequences of your actions?” Oops, that’s two questions!
Someone told me that in the laws of physics ‘For every action there is a reaction.’ This is evident in our spiritual, emotional and physical life as well. For an example if we abuse alcohol/drugs our mind, body and spirit reacts. Our health will suffer as our bodies react to the constant abuse given by the alcohol/drugs. Our mind and spirit suffers as we choose the alcohol/drugs over our own well being and families, friends, work, etc. I ask again, “Are you ready to face the consequences of your actions?
What about the act of forgiving someone who has hurt us in some way? Many of us hold on to hurts that for whatever reason we can’t seem to let go of. At times they can become all consuming, all powerful. The consequences of unforgiveness can be anger, bitterness, resentfulness, stress, physical, mental and spiritual illnesses. I should say at this point that some hurts can and do take a lot of effort through forms of counseling, to be able to eventually work through the damage caused to come to the place of forgiveness. Corrie Ten Boom when asked by a former guard from the concentration camp she had been in for forgiveness, her reply was honest. She told him that she couldn’t forgive him yet.
Are you ready to choose to forgive? Or, do you choose to hold on to the hurts. The Revd. Dale Laing and his wife chose forgiveness towards the young boy that killed their son at school in Tabor Alberta. What an amazing witness to the healing power of forgiveness.
Jesus knew the power of forgiveness. In healing the sick, he often said, ‘Your sins are forgiven.’ He taught forgiveness by many of the stories he told, e.g. Mt 18:21-35. When asked by Peter, “How many times should we forgive someone?” Jesus’ reply was. “Seventy times seven.” Jesus in teaching his disciples how to pray said:
“Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one. If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Mt 6:9-15 (NLT, italics mine).
The greatest act of forgiveness that Jesus taught was his death on the cross and his subsequent resurrection from the dead. In this act we see the absolute power of forgiveness.
I hope that in this season of Lent that we truly experience the healing power of forgiveness in our lives.